Therapy is not about ‘fixing’ but about enquiring into our pain
7 June 2021
“One of the most important moves in psychotherapy is to take whatever is presented and simply hold it and give it a place.”
Thomas Moore
The quote above, from psychotherapist Thomas Moore, points at an important element of ‘soulful’ psychotherapy. This is that it adopts an attitude of exploration and enquiry rather than problem fixing.
Read more: Therapy is not about ‘fixing’ but about enquiring into our pain
When the ‘rescuer’ in the drama triangle gets fed up, there are problems ahead
25 May 2021
There is a model of relationships called the ‘drama triangle’, in which individuals move between the role of rescuer, persecutor or victim. In many relationships partners gravitate towards one of these roles - typically rescuer or victim.
By rescuer I mean someone who take a lot of responsibility for their partner, who gives them advice and who often adopts a slightly superior position.
Read more: When the ‘rescuer’ in the drama triangle gets fed up, there are problems ahead
Letting go of how things 'should' be
30 April 2021
“Always seek to allow others the space to be imperfect.”
Alan Downs
Many of us drive ourselves so hard - and we often drive others hard too.
Much of this comes from our understanding how things ‘should’ or ought to be - I’ve heard it described as having ‘a hardening of the oughteries.’
I recently went through a process of looking at what my values are, or what I’d like them to be, and one of the values I came up with was a phrase - ‘accepting other people’s imperfections and my own’.
