Working with individuals
As a Psychosynthesis counsellor and therapist, when I work with you I aim to help you with the visible 'problem' you bring, while at the same time exploring what might be going on underneath. The visible problem may be some form of addiction or compulsion, excessive anger, anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties or some other issue.
If you imagine that the symptom you come with is a bit like an iceberg - there is a visible part but there is also a bigger part under the surface.
Much of what we do in counselling and therapy is helping you understand yourself better and what it is that you want out of life . Many of us have lived our lives unconsciously trying to please our mum or dad, or other significant people in our life.
That can create a life that somehow feels inauthentic or unsatisfying. Therapy can help you get to understand your deeper desires and what changes you may need to make in your life. For more details, read The need to sometimes disappoint our parents
Sometimes clients say to me, 'I just want to get rid of this feeling/behaviour/problem.' That is understandable. In most areas of life if we have a problem we try and fix it. When it comes to psychological problems, however, we need a more subtle approach.
While I can help you deal with the symptom, I believe it is also important to look at what this symptom may be saying about your life and what aspects of your life you may need to give attention to.
In this way, we can work together to make sure that any change or improvements are sustainable. If we try and tackle the visible problem without looking at the cause, the risk is that this problem (or something similar) will re-occur further down the line.
A shared process
When I am working with you it is a joint project. It is not about me 'fixing' you or telling you what to do, but rather a shared process in which we look at your life together, at what is working and not working and the choices that you make. It is about looking at how past experiences may have shaped your view of yourself and the world, and about looking forward to what you can do differently.
I don't tell you what to do. Instead, I help you look at the choices you make and at the unconscious patterns that may be influencing your decisions. In this way you can begin to feel empowered and to take appropriate responsibility for your life. To achieve this requires a commitment on the part of both the therapist and client.
A commitment to counselling can help you:
- develop happier and more intimate relationships
- become clearer about what you want and how to get your needs met in an appropriate way
- establish appropriate boundaries
- become more self-accepting and enthusiastic about life
- move away from self-destructive patterns and towards more healthy behaviour