One of the revelations that many who enter therapy experience is that the process becomes not just talking to the therapist but also, in a deeper, way talking to themself.
This was highlighted recently by artist and cultural commentator Grayson Perry, in the BBC Radio Four programme Start the Week. (see link at bottom of this post).
Many people believe that fighting is bad in a relationship and of course that’s true if the arguing is toxic and non productive. However, for a couple therapist the worst indicator for the relationship is when one of the partners seems to have given up.
This partner may have got to the stage where everything seems to hopeless that they detach from the relationship – they no longer even care enough to get angry.
Read more: Why detaching from conflict can kill a relationship
This is a great talk by psychologist John Bradshaw about the inner child, in which Bradshaw talks about the importance of “championing” that part of ourselves. This idea is developed in his book Homecoming, published in 1990.
Bradshaw, who died in 2016, was from Texas and has the style of a Southern preacher in his public talks.