Dealing with your inner critic
14 June 2020
All of us, I would guess, have an inner critic - a part of us that judges or criticises us. To some degree the inner critic can help us, for example in maintaining high standards at work.
But for some of us the inner critic is pretty vicious. It may say things like:
“You’re stupid - you never understand things.”
The challenges of child-to-parent violence
7 June 2020
Often a taboo area for the families that experience it, and one that has become worse during the confinement of lockdown, is that of child-to-parent violence. Many parents feel some shame in disclosing what is going on or seeking support, which means the young person is not held to account and the violence and aggression can grow.
It is a particular problem for many parents of children with special needs, adopters or someone bringing up the child of a family member of friend.
Using the language of 'parts' to communicate emotions
I sometimes suggest to clients the value of describing their experience in the language of ‘parts’, such as ‘A part of me feels sad’ or ‘a part of me was angry’.
The advantage of using this kind of language is when we may feel overwhelmed or dominated by certain feelings. By using the language of parts we are able to acknowledge our experience without being completely ‘in’ it.
It also helps us allow in feelings that we may be uncomfortable with, such as anger, envy, jealousy, hatred. By saying that a part of us feels jealous, envious, or furious, we remove some of the judgment we may hold.
Read more: Using the language of 'parts' to communicate emotions
