Couple therapy – making sense of emotions
Recognising and naming what we are feeling is a valuable part of couple therapy, but it’s not something that comes easily to most of us.
It is important to learn how to recognise and name what we’re feeling because, in one sense, we are what we feel. It is often through our feelings that we reveal ourselves to others, that they get an understanding of what we want, what we’re passionate about, what moves us. And that helps create intimacy.
The power in therapy of ‘talking to yourself’
One of the revelations that many who enter therapy experience is that the process becomes not just talking to the therapist but also, in a deeper, way talking to themself.
This was highlighted recently by artist and cultural commentator Grayson Perry, in the BBC Radio Four programme Start the Week. (see link at bottom of this post).
Why detaching from conflict can kill a relationship
Many people believe that fighting is bad in a relationship and of course that’s true if the arguing is toxic and non productive. However, for a couple therapist the worst indicator for the relationship is when one of the partners seems to have given up.
This partner may have got to the stage where everything seems to hopeless that they detach from the relationship – they no longer even care enough to get angry.
Read more: Why detaching from conflict can kill a relationship
